The Deranged Thoughts Of A Girl

 Love brushed past me like a wind During a hot summer afternoon Cooling the beads of sweat on my body With shivers of comfort and pleasure. It never came with grand gestures and Bouquets of flowers on a dreamy night, It stayed with my sorrows and gently Lifted them into the silent night with its touch. Love left me while I was still asleep  comfortable in the warmth it had left behind, With a forehead kiss as a goodbye note It walked away with empathy and regrets. It didn't turn words into hate or leave one  Stranded in a world of indifference, It stood comforting me while I cried And whispered helplessness for its tragic form. Love haunts me some days and I hide in places where it could never find me. But love was kind, it waits for me. Like reveling the last lines of a poem Because it made you feel something, I knew I would go looking for love again, How could a poet resist something  that brings beauty to her words.

 I have my favourite people Scattered all across my life Some are aware of their worth In my life and others unaware Yet they remain silently and Safely tucked into small spaces, a memory that doesn't grow dim Even when new ones form. I find myself running into your arms Just to remind myself that The world still has a kind face in it. You halfway around the world Told me things I was dying to hear And made me want to live life a little. I love the silent conversations  We have when my mind goes awry, How wonderful it is to be understood? We keep apologizing for never Staying in touch but my drunk photos find you first and you call me cool. Our names lie in red in each other's phones As missed calls and yet with a strict Call time in hostel, you call me first. In places new and strange, I have found gems of people Who light up my world with just A mention of their name And I call them home.

 In a life filled with wondrous opportunities I can't stop thinking about all my wants; I want someone to hold my hand delicately While we stroll through the beautiful roads. I want to have fun with my group of friends In a way that we forget tomorrow does arrive. I want someone to kiss me softly and  Whisper sweet nothings that would fade in time. I want to be there for my loved ones and tell that Their world could never end with me by their side. In a life with so much space to find ourselves I keep forgetting about my needs; I need to spend time with myself  When the outside world becomes loud I need to love being myself  On all the good days and the bad ones. I need to be able to forgive myself For the times I let myself believe the harsh words. I need to feel like I belong in my world, I need me to want me more.

 Lately, I find comfort in the stillness  that life offers, When the sun's rays fall on me, I turn my face towards it in devotion. When I feel so much love for you, I glance for just a second longer than usual. When I go on a date with the sky, I find tears softening my cheeks. When you tell me you love me, I take a moment to say it back. The world rushes by in a hurry while I move away into a world of my own, A world where my words reside in peace. The world and me, devoid of movement Has never been so beautiful. In the stillness of the sun, I find pleasure in a cold shower after. In the stillness of my eyes on you, I feel happy that I could catch myself in love. In my stillness over the sky's graceful changes, I am capable of accepting my losses. In the stillness of your love, I remember I am being loved in a way I was meant to be. And when I find myself on a starless night, I'll tell you my secrets through a poem  that you would forget to read.

  Some days I feel lonely and I think about bottling up  Moments that felt good. A bottle of my mother's warmth, One of my father's hugs, Another of my brother's smiles and an extra of my sister's laughs. Some days I feel sad and  I think about what awaits me When I get through the day. Grandparents that patiently waits to give me a warm welcome. Finally going on a trip with friends that We have been planning for years now. On days I feel happy I give away my hugs and smiles Like I have plenty to give, I still believe the ones I gave away Are the ones that come back To find me in discomfort. Afterall we are just beings Basking in the warmth of hope

 Red was when she was in love, Sneaking glances at other couples when he wasn't there by her side. Like a smile that crossed her lips Whenever she thought of the  Kisses he used to steal from her. Orange was when she witnessed  People healing with time The way she saw them enjoy life Again with so much gratitude Like a reassuring touch to show That the body they live in Finally feels like their own. Yellow was when you discovered Beautiful things about the people you love. Like how her favourite colour was yellow All along but you thought it was blue And now everytime you see things in yellow It feels like home. Green was when he stayed with her Even after everyone left They lay in each other's arms And breathed promises with their lips. Like watching fields of flowers swaying Listening to the stories bought by the wind While they slowly built their realm of peace. Blue was when your soul feels empty even when it was overflowing, An unrest that travels throughout  your body thr

 Humans warm my heart They could hold the whole universe  In their eyes But feel the most special When someone loves them. They could wither away slowly  With the passing of time But find the strength to hold  Onto themselves for one more time. They could be healing slowly From feelings abused But still have enough love To send over to people in need. In a world where you could  Wish for anything, You chose the little things That brightened your day. When you laugh with a friend, And empty your worries into  Their understanding hands, You whisper new forms of love Like a secret into the world. It does intrigue my heart  That in a vast world of creations The idea of someone miles away Is all you desire on a lonely night.