The Deranged Thoughts Of A Girl

Somewhere along that lonely road, I had a feeling that left me stupefied. A familiarity in all those slow steps I took, A shocking deja vu to your warmth. An undistinguishable euphoria had hit me, I turned back with a spectrum of hope, Only to be slapped back to reality. It wasn't the beautiful world of Calmness and happiness that I  Craved all night and day nor The easiness of a fathomable life. I found my solace in the uneven roads, That we walked together sharing tales. I fell in love with the muddy grounds, That ignites our faces with love. Today as I walk through these roads, Nothing feels the same unlike those moments that are scored in our hearts. It still felt like a warm home embracing The times of our lives but I wasn't invited anymore. P.S. I find abandoned places very aesthetic. P.S.S. For someone who is single, I write too many romance poems.

Something that has always troubled me and will continue to is depression. No matter how much I try to write about something happy and beautiful, the idea of  sadness always isn't far away. Maybe that's the realist in me talking. I hate her but still she's a part of me. So enough talk.  Here's a poem I wrote. I hope you take your time reading it. *CAUGHT* She ran out like she was on fire, Her tangled hair fighting the wind, Her clothes bravely covering her emotional nudity, Her eyes,still beautiful,had lost its sparkle, Her heart that had a death wish to fulfill. Caught between a step,she weeps painfully, A step forward to the peace she discuss, A step back to gather the strength to fight, She fights away her tears,for the step forward, Was the only way for this ordeal to end. She looks straight ahead,her eyes now lifeless, Her body remains numb as her heart beats fast, Her face looks pale and her mind deranged, She has her own rules now, a true war

Halfway through the journey I turned back, The uncertainity of my choices clouding my vision, "Will I do alright?", the question echoes and the answers are too vague. I promise myself I will bear it all the way through, But both my conscience and my heart knows I am terribly weak. I stumble around losing balance, I rise only to fall again, I look around and only see envy, "No!", I cry as I realise I will always stay in my shell of dreams. As my hands caress the surface of my lonely abode, And as my eyes envision the future I dread, I brush past a few cracks of light,a smile spreads as I break it open. For all I had to do was continue the journey, The journey of finding my voice.

This post is going to contain all the dreams and wishes I want to fulfil. So, I hope you got my reference to the genie ( I am so weird..:P). Okay, now lets start because its a looooong list.. 1. I want to take my mom to Delhi to see Taj Mahal . (With my own money...) 2. I want to celebrate Holi and Halloween. 3. I want to perform in a flash mob. 4. I want to ride in rhe rain. ( I love my sister for fulfilling my dream or unexpectedly fulfilling when we went for a ride in her scooter, even though the rain was unexpected.And we almost killed ourselves by becoming blinded by the rain.) 5. My lifelong dream is to visit Paris by my hard-earned money. 6. To dance and dance and dance all the time. ........................................ This was something that had remained in my draft for so long. I don't even remember when I wrote this but I am pretty sure I had  goofy smile on my face.  It actually tears me apart to know I don't even have these many dreams now ( althoug

I don't know if I have mentioned it before but anyways bear with me as I narrate it once more. My mother's and father's birthday are just a few days apart and usually we, I mean me and my siblings, do a lot of things like making cards, 'planning' to order cake, 'planning' to surprise them which usually and as long as I can remember ended in disasters. Once I had an idea to wake my dad at 12am to wish him happy birthday. So we all eagerly waited for the clock to strike twelve and it took ages. And because we had such amazing patience, we decided to go in at 11:50pm assuming that we would need a lot of time to wake him up (also we were so impatient to execute the plan). Anyways we sneaked into the room and started waking up my dad. He was so fast asleep that even though our mom started shouting with irritation, he didn't even flinch at all. At last we got him to wake up which resulted in angry protests(he was still a bit asleep), and also a 5 minute and

As my heart shrunk, the pain widened,the eyes turned evil and my mind was haunted. There is nothing in the world I despise more than sadness. It just irritates me. Like having a worm climbing into my body ( okay,now that is disturbing). It just makes me angry that sadness exists in the world when there are so many things to be happy about. I mean just look at the sky. Don't tell me it doesn't cheer you up. I am not saying that I am always happy and have never been sad but I make an immense effort to stay alive. Yes, you heard me right. I know I haven't got the meaning right. Alive means being able to experience all emotions right? But something about it puts me off. I don't know if its me or it just happens for everyone;when I know that someone in the same space as me is sad, I feel like I don't know, just sad. So it is true that sadness is contagious. No wonder people try to put up a big wide smile even if their heart is breaking and getting crushed to the sma

You can see her in your drying tears, The ones you never wiped away, Because you knew it was to be the mark, The mark of that beautiful moment. You can see her in your mirror as she stares at your soul, That tells you to fight for what you really desire, You know who she is but you refuse to accept, Because the chains of your broken wings has left bruises. But I hope you realise that the glimpse, The glimpse of your soul, The glimpse of your heart, And the glimpse of your magic, It has a magnificent story to tell, A story that illuminates the very presence of your being.