My encounter with the real me!
we can never run away from the real us
i always used to think i am a jolly type of a person and always remain happy . i kept believing in this concept because my friends used to say this too. but i am not here to blame my friends , but to share that incident when i found that real me .
it was Christmas and our family went on a little jolly trip to Mysore . all of my mom’s family have been living there and they invited us . first , we(me, my brother and sister) were a little shy to mingle with them but by the end of the day we became great friends . next day , we had a new visitor who happened to be the sister of the women(my mom’s second cousin) who invited us. she was a beautiful lady of my mother’s age with a clean bob and a fabulous fashion. i was friends with her daughter who was staying with her grandma and was not so suprised to hear that the lady was her mother because she herself was a pretty girl. she was just 1 year younger than me . the lady i saw was a jolly type and was very attached to the children in the house. before long , i found out she was my brother’s godmother.she was so caring and funny . she had a very big suitcase along with her and i saw her telling my sister something and eyeing the suitcase , at the sight of seeing the suitcase my sister was all smiles. of course , i was curious.
my curiousness did not last very long . the third day , while i was playing Uno (a card game) with my cousins , i saw a small pack of my aunties getting into the room and i could hear their AWE of excitement . of course , i am a girl too and for girls curiousity gets the better of them . i went inside and i also had the awe of amazement . it lasted for a few minutes and then it ended. the lady ( don’t wanna mention the name)had bought tops for my sister , i think there was like 20 of them in there and all better than the other . it was her tops but it had become too tight for her , so she was handing these to my sister.
on all the tops she(sister) puts she got a large number of appreciation on how beautiful she looked and blah blah blah.and then the most unexpected thing happens …..wait for it…
i cried ….yeah even i feels totally confused telling you this over . at first i did not know why i cried , neither did the aunties around me. ans before i knew i was sputtering out ‘ i want these tops too’ . everyone surrounded me and started telling to me that this was all mine when i become big . i stopped crying after a few more minutes and rushed into the bathroom and my mind was filled with thoughts like ‘ how am i going to face them again?’ ‘ what am i supposed to say?’. i came out of the toilet and and from the looks of my cousin i knew the news got around fast. i don’t want to discuss any of that day anymore because even though no one is looking at me right now , every time i tell this story i fell ashamed.
of course , this isn’t such big of a deal . everyone who read this might thing this is a simple tantrum of a girl . but for me it was more . now i realize it was not the clothes i was making a fuss of but ……… something else . it was because i was jealous . of my own sister. i guess its hard for everyone when they come to realize that they have something they hate.. even when i think of it now, i still wish i could just erase that scene from my life… this was the first realization of the real me…but later on i realized that we should not run away from who we really are….we just have to accept the way we are…
it was not like finding something so important but still it hurts a little when i think of my reaction again. later on i realized the many flaws in me … and i am trying to improve ( trying ,have not got over it ). but one thing was clear for me , in each and every step of our life , we come to realize who we really are but we just gotta keep moving… because life goes on.
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