The Deranged Thoughts Of A Girl

You didn't have to take me there but you did, Only because you wanted me to go through Everything you have experienced and lived. A selfish act of kindness. You knew it would break me so bad, Yet you smiled and held my hand. I could sense in your eyes a slight nervousness, Will you be able to save me after that fall? How could I pretend not to know ? I smiled, And somehow the grip of your hand on mine strengthened, Oh darling, please let me try, let me weep, Let me break my heart of mine once more. And when we reached, you set me free but I was hesitant, 'Go. I will stay.', you promised. I ran and I ran. When I came back, I could hear your eyes screaming sorry. 'Promise me a smile and the sea.' I pleaded. And you took me there without speaking a word, With every wave that rose, I cried. With every wave that fell, I cried. And with every breath of mine, I let the sea take the pieces of my past.

I try to find you in my eyes, What if they have lost their way And can't let go of my heart. I pray that with every tear I cry, I lose a memory of you. As beautiful as they were, They don't belong here anymore. I try to find you in every sleep I force, What if you had looked me in the eye When you said those words, Maybe they wouldn't have had a place to land, But they do, and it keeps wandering Bidding farewell to all others it meets on its way. And like a kite stuck on a tree, it prays to be freed by mere conscience. A lover's quest to prepare for another battle, With tales of pain and scars, And a slowly dying heart.

When the album named ''Too late" released, like any other fan, I too was excited to hear it. After all, there was something about the music he played. It was special because it just felt like home. And that was enough in a way.  When I played the new album for the first time, it all came rushing back. And before I knew it, I was crying. The story we, the audience, were a part of had ended. The story we witnessed and was excited for a few days had ended. The story we were curious about had finally ended. And it broke my heart. The curiosity that was burning in our minds after we left the concert only lasted a few days as there was no further news about it. And 6 months later, when the album released, the flame was rekindled but only to be stomped upon by the song's last line ' But by then, it was a little too late.' I had planned this for months. In fact, I was saving up for it. To sit in the front row to see him up close, to hear his fingers playing with

The words still echo in my ear. A constant reminder of my freedom. A smile that I can't seem to hide. But there was something about my eyes. I failed to recognise the usual excitement it displays. They were sad and drowning, calling for help muted. I pushed them off as my illusion, a certain imagination as to what usually happens. It was quite common, I made myself believe. And I did,but little did I know that I would fall so hard. He prayed with me,he cried. She blessed me,but broke down before completing her sentence. I didn't cry. I didn't feel anything. I was worried as to why I wasn't reacting at all. My mom and Dad were strong or should I say they were more stressed out about other factors. I felt terrified as to why I was so emotionless when most of the time I am just a human rollercoaster of emotions. I focused on many other things. No, I tried to focus. Even the skies couldn't help me this time. I was lost. I begged my inner self to just cry once,to

We stand among the lies we have build up. We look at each other. I can feel my eyes tearing up,my vision blurred. The grave of all the beautiful promises and happiness we once shared has no marks on it, no signs of past. It still appears new, like the mending scars on my heart. Only it has been way too long. You place a flower on it, stressing on the mere fact that a resurrection isn't possible. My heart breaks a little. You walk past me. The familiar smell of home, your ignorant smile, everything about you walking away tears me apart. I wanted to call out to you. But I don't. Today will be different, I hope. The yellow flowers are dancing to the wind. I lay my head down on the ground and glance at the sky. I smile. I wonder how it is capable of telling so many stories a single day when no one remembers it the next. I love how selfless you are, how beautiful you are. I finally close my eyes ,listening to the melodies I didn't give importance to before. I hear footstep

She wakes up at 4 in the morning with a trembling heart. Somewhere around her, she feels sadness. It has a lurking sensation. It is planning a pouncing attack on her. And then it hits her. She pulls up her blankets and cries into her pillow until she feels physically weak. Then she relaxes, so tired, so drained. She often wonders why does she feel so much when they felt nothing. Did they care? Did they love? Her revenge genes are damaged. Maybe that is why her heart breaks every godamn time. When the sun comes up, she gathers all her energy. She refuses to end this day without a laugh, a happy note. She engages herself in nothing and everything. And that is exactly how she feels at the end of the day : nothing and everything . I asked her to talk to me. Talk to her about something that brings euphoria, she will make it more beautiful for you. Ask her about her insecurities, she'll talk. If she explains it to you in a funny tone, she will probably cry herself to sleep tonight

When did it all start? I don't even remember correctly. It all seems so tangled. Like I am walking through a fog but I have a vivid image of what's lying in front of me. It doesn't make sense at all. But.. let's move on to what this is about. Falling in love. Wow, it brings back so many memories. I remember a very young me falling in love with someone who was in love with my best friend. The moment I realised it,I placed a stop sign in front of my heart. I always try to not complicate things but it has a weird way of catching up with me. I was a very insecure child. And I let myself believe that it will always stay that way. In fact, I was just a bundle of insecurities. A bundle of 'I am fine with everything'. Then after 4 years, I met a boy to whom I was strongly attracted to. It made everything much easier. Going to school, the breaks, going back home. I have never felt so busy in my life. I was constantly in search of finding him anywhere. A simple glimp