Not worth it.

When did it all start? I don't even remember correctly. It all seems so tangled. Like I am walking through a fog but I have a vivid image of what's lying in front of me. It doesn't make sense at all. But.. let's move on to what this is about.

Falling in love. Wow, it brings back so many memories. I remember a very young me falling in love with someone who was in love with my best friend. The moment I realised it,I placed a stop sign in front of my heart. I always try to not complicate things but it has a weird way of catching up with me. I was a very insecure child. And I let myself believe that it will always stay that way. In fact, I was just a bundle of insecurities. A bundle of 'I am fine with everything'.

Then after 4 years, I met a boy to whom I was strongly attracted to. It made everything much easier. Going to school, the breaks, going back home. I have never felt so busy in my life. I was constantly in search of finding him anywhere. A simple glimpse would suffice. Then something happened that made me cry so hard. I was broken. It wasn't love, I knew it from the beginning. But knowing it was all gonna end make me wince. But things moved on. Like someone said "The stream has to flow in order to meet the ocean."

Even if I really concentrate and write everything down, I still wouldn't know when it all happened. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was happy, very very. I didn't think of the consequences. But even when it started surfacing, I didn't cry. After all, I wasn't very lucky. I wanted to do things I didn't even give a second thought too. Everything seemed lovely. I found opportunities, I found hope,I found myself. I thank you for it. You will always hold a special place in my heart.

Did you like the story? I remember telling my story and people claiming I wasn't brave. Yes,I am not. I am weak. How can I not when all around I see broken hearts? I console myself each time that I didn't take it too far and break it completely. It trembles sometimes, encouraging me to throw it at him and have it completely broken. But I don't. Why?

'The stream did meet the ocean. The ocean welcomed her with open arms. She runs towards him, smiling. He hugs her so tight, a feeling that couldn't be fathomed. She looks into his eyes and says "Is it worth it?". He smiles and whispers "Yes."

She pulls back. She looks at him with a faint smile in her eyes. She kisses him slowly and then withdraws "I believe in a love that is simple. A love so unlabelled. A love that makes me caress the broken hearts that remains around me and tell them it will be fine. It's not worth it. It's a lie. It's a complete lie when you are doing it just for the sake of it. A process of finding yourself while playing with people's hearts. It's not worth it, but we need it.", She kisses him one last time before disappearing.'

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