Lost in the drafts - 2

She wakes up at 4 in the morning with a trembling heart. Somewhere around her, she feels sadness. It has a lurking sensation. It is planning a pouncing attack on her. And then it hits her. She pulls up her blankets and cries into her pillow until she feels physically weak. Then she relaxes, so tired, so drained. She often wonders why does she feel so much when they felt nothing. Did they care? Did they love? Her revenge genes are damaged. Maybe that is why her heart breaks every godamn time.

When the sun comes up, she gathers all her energy. She refuses to end this day without a laugh, a happy note. She engages herself in nothing and everything. And that is exactly how she feels at the end of the day : nothing and everything .

I asked her to talk to me. Talk to her about something that brings euphoria, she will make it more beautiful for you. Ask her about her insecurities, she'll talk. If she explains it to you in a funny tone, she will probably cry herself to sleep tonight. But if she starts to explain it to you in a serious tone, please don't interrupt her. Listen to her, she needs it the most. She will break down in middle, cry messily, try to cover up her face, but give her time and she will complete the story. The story of how she survives.

She keeps a diary. She only used it when she was sad. But as the pages started filling up fast, she threw away that diary. Instead she got a new one. A new one to write about things that made her happy. Even the tiniest moments that nudged her spirits. She felt like she needed it more. I agree.

She calls herself weak. But to be honest, I have never seen such a strong one before. And I hope one day she wakes up on a dry pillow.

''The sky was beautiful today. I can't even explain the colours! A splash of purple and orange, I guess. " - Keira 

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